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Wildflower in the Spring, oh They Can’t Contain You, Through the Cracks You Break Through

I am 31 years old today, but I really don’t feel like it. A few years ago it’s like I started aging backwards or something, a new fresh perspective shifting in me every so often. A new energy and passion for life. Like a college kid ready to take on the world and make an imprint, wanting to learn as much as possible and have a positive impact. I swear when I turned 30 I really turned 20… so I guess that makes today my 21st birthday?! Time to celebrate! I don’t feel hardened and bitter from my experiences, maybe that makes me naive. I can absolutely see how things I’ve gone through would put me on a path to being closed off, untrusting, and judge mental but that just doesn’t sit right with me. I’m messy. I’m scattered. I feel things and it tears me open at times. I have spent years thinking that I was too emotional, unrealistic, and needed to just be practical. Well, I am not too emotional or unrealistic. I have emotions and they are wonderfully real. I know anything and everything is possible, so why would I need to be more realistic? Sure I may benefit from being a little more practical at times, but if I’m able to see possibilities and opportunities where others can’t, why would I limit my thinking?

My emotions are a superpower. My larger than life thinking creates wonders. And no matter how scary it is, being vulnerable and sharing myself with the world is what motivates me. It motivates others, too! As I’m unlearning, learning, and relearning to become my most authentic self I’m becoming more aware of my strengths and my values. I’m in the process of exploring those values, and identifying what they are. Knowing what your personal values are and having a concrete list can help you make decisions, take action, and respond truthfully to who you are and what you want to see in the world.

Maybe this would have been better to do at a younger age, or maybe it’s something people figure out down the road, but I’m here now and this is what feels right for me. What energy do I want to put out into the world? What do I want to see and receive and experience? What do I want others to know or feel? I want to put inspiration out there, I want to ignite positivity and healing in the world. I want to receive this too, I want to see people inspiring each other and helping everyone else along the way. I want everyone to feel loved, accepted, and worthy. I want people to know that they are safe and cared for. I want everyone to have the ability and resources and freedom to be completely true to themselves.

I can’t control how people view me or feel about me, and quite frankly that’s fine because I think it’s more important for everyone to come to their own opinions organically. I’ve been manipulated, I’ve been gaslit, I’ve been brainwashed. I refuse to do that to any other person to any degree on any subject. I hope my words can shed light on different perspectives or ideals, I hope my stories motivate you, and I hope you feel a sense of connection with me. But most of all, I hope I inspire you to live authentically to yourself. That my energy is safe, comforting, and validating.

I’m 31 today, but I am also all the ages I have ever been before and all the ages I will ever be. I’m no longer living on someone else’s timeline, no longer expecting myself to reach milestones or goals based on the “norm” and society. We get one life, what’s the point of minimizing it by years?

Your Friend,

Terri 💚

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